Ignite FB Tracking PixelDeveloping a Family Mission Statement - Tony Bruser
Developing a Family Mission Statement

by Tony Bruser 04/08/2019

Most often, families just happen. You wake up one day and there you are, a family with parents and children and responsibilities and daycare and school and jobs and house payments. Every day can seem the same with random bursts of activity or the occasional family road trip to grandma’s house. The idea of your family having a destination or a mission (thinking Tom Cruise and saving the world, anyone?) isn’t even on your radar. But what if it could be? What if you could guide where your family heads, what you do to shape its future, and how you impact the world?

Knowing the destination is the first part of the process of getting there. In business and the non-profit sector, it’s called a mission statement: the answer to the questions: 

- Who are they?

- Why do they exist?

- Where are they headed? 

- What do they value?

Once a business knows the answers to those three questions, they guide every corporate decision. A non-profit uses its mission to rally support. In a family, your mission statement helps you navigate decisions like what school children will attend, where you'll worship, and how you'll participate in your community.

What it’s not

To be clear, a family mission is not a list of rules to follow. It is not parents imposing their will on their children. Nor is it a tally of past accomplishments. Most of all, it isn’t adopting someone else’s mission onto your family.

Mission defined

Your family mission is a guide to the culture you wish to create in your family. Life just happens unless you intentionally choose otherwise. According to Stephen Covey, author of Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, "A family mission statement is a combined, unified expression from all family members of what your family is all about — what it is you truly want to do and be — and the principles you choose to govern your family life."

In an article titled “Creating a Positive Family Culture: How and Why to Create a Family Mission Statement” by Brett & Kate McKay, they define a family mission statement as a “statement encapsulates your idea of the good life and lays out your family's purpose, goals, and standards. All members of the family have a hand in articulating these values, and all agree to live them.”

The takeaways from that definition are that in addition to your family identity, your mission is your purpose (why you exist), goals (where are you headed), and standards (what you value). The time spent determining these, together in conversation as a family, are more critical than the verbiage you end up with. The purpose of the verbiage is to create a family rallying point so that when things are tough like experiencing bullying in school, or hard decisions need to be made such as whether or not to move across the country for a job, the whole family can come together confidently to decide together what to do. Take these steps to get started: 

  • Set aside time for a family meeting. It’s best if it is away from your usual family life, so if you can, rent a hotel room or plan it for while you’re on vacation together.
  • Ask questions to help everyone contribute to your family identity. Small children can contribute things like "having fun" and "being nice." Married couples can discuss how chores are handled, whether or not being a full-time parent is essential for one or the other parent, and the types of schools and opportunities you want for your children.
  • Determine things like how you resolve arguments and what traditions do you each want to bring from your childhood.
  • Make a list of your values. Some examples are fun, kindness, generosity, healthy living.
  • Create a family cheer that encapsulates your values and chant it with your children as they leave home each day and when you have decisions to make.

If a family value is living in a particular neighborhood or going to a specific school, talk to your real estate professional about what it would take to get you there.

About the Author

Tony Bruser

Tony Bruser, Broker/Realtor

Welcome! This website is designed to be a simple and effective way to search San Diego real estate with ease as well as learn more about my brokerage, Prime Pacific Properties. As a real estate broker and Realtor for over 30 years I have a wealth or knowledge to share with my clients.

My wife Cheryl and I have been residents of San Diego for over 40 years.  I obtained my original real estate license in 1987.   In 1989 I became a licensed broker.  In over 30 years or representing clients, I have successfully closed hundreds of residential and commercial transactions in California valued in the tens of millions of dollars.   With great experience throughout San Diego County as well as intimate local area knowledge, I works extensively to help buyers and sellers meet their real estate goals.    Good service is not difficult, it's common sense.    I have been honored to have assisted hundreds of clients over the years and now helping their grown children!    

I love the work I do and take great pride in it.   There are always challenges in every situation, that's what keeps the work interesting.    The knowledge I have acquired through experience is a critical asset that drives success.   Markets change as do conditions that impact those markets.  It's imperative you work with an seasoned real estate professional to provide accurate "real time" intelligence combined with years of negotiation skills.   I do not make decisions for my clients.  My focus is to make sure they have all the knowledge they need to make the right decision for themselves.

More than 90% of my business is through referral.  My philosophy is that if you take care of your clients’ needs, success will follow. 

If you are considering a San Diego real estate acquisition or sale,  or simply would like more information, please feel free to call or e-mail me anytime.    All consultations are without obligation and are completely confidential.